Stay at home mommy

Jesus and I made a very difficult decision yesterday. When I got pregnant with Mattix I has resigned myself to the fact that working would be out of the question. It would be too expensive and way to hard to juggle the house and a full time job. Then the closer I got to delivering I had adjusted that decision to working part time. Nights and weekends, leave the kids with family, or Jesus, but then I would lose my health insurance. Then, weeks before delivering, my co-worker announced that she would be quitting to move up north. This opened up an opportunity to work full time mornings and keep my benefits. I would be home at night with Jesus and the kids and it was also supposed to mean a raise. Jesus and I discussed this at great length, and decided we would try to find a "nanny" to come be with the kids while I tried this out. I wanted someone to come to the house and be with the kids. I felt this would give them more structure and be less of a transition for them. I knew that a typical day care was out of the question. We had already decided that if it became too much "work" to work, then I would quit. While I was on my maternity leave I was searching for someone I trusted to care for my children. This was very difficult. I had several good leads through craigslist and other avenues, but none really panned out. I adjusted my schedule to work every Saturday and Sunday, and my amazing mom adjusted her schedule to work 4 ten hour shifts and be off on Tuesdays. This left me with only one or two days to find a sitter for. I eventually found a girl who would watch the kids for me and was a great girl who was wonderful with the kids. However, since her husband is leaving for the Marines, she needed a full time job. Yesterday she told me she had found one. It was in that moment, I knew I needed to stay home.

I have loved my job, and the people I work with. At the end of the day, I didn't make much more than to pay my health insurance and the babysitter, but it was worth it. I never did get the raise I was promised, and things were falling behind at home. Laundry was never done, I never had the energy to cook, and was always wanting to be in bed by 8:30, cutting out all the quality time I had planned for Jesus and I. I am at peace with this decision. I am actually excited to stay home more. To take my kids to the park, the library, put them to bed at night, and be there in the morning when they wake up. Plus, I get to see this everyday.....

Photo credit - Pixel Me Perfect Photography

P.S. Mattix has started to laugh! Not giggle or chuckle, but laugh! Oh the precious moments!